It's hard to belive, but Bate and I celebrated our 51-week anniversary last night. Well, celebrate is a bit of a stretch. I taught and he was at bridge, so our "celebration" was watching the American Idol semi-finals. (I didn't think it would happen, but yes, my husband of almost one year is now addicted to American Idol.)
I can't really believe that in just six short days, we will have been married for a whole year. May 26, 2009 seems like just yesterday and an eon ago, all at the same time. Where did those days go? Did we cherish each one, or let them slip by? I have to say, in my case at least, it is the latter.
And that bothers and saddens me. I know only too well how short days together can be. I lost my first husband to a sudden and unexpected heart attack, leaving me with the memory of all the things we didn't do...all our plans unfinished, all our dreams unlived. And I don't just mean the big pie in the sky dreams, like starting our own Christmas tree and herb farm. I mean the little things: the new restaurant we never got to try, taking the grandkids to Disney World, going to Alaska together. I not only lost my husband in those early morning hours of September 30, 2003, but I also lost my future as I had envisioned it.
That is why, nearly one year ago, as I was reciting the traditional wedding vows after the minister, I was silently vowing to live every moment with Bate as if we weren't going to have any more. I didn't do so well in this first year, which is why I have on my Happiness Bucket List "Plan a date with Bate every month." So far, I haven't been doing too bad -- I have planned a couple over the past few months, but most seem to happen on there own -- an unexpected breakfast out, a "I'm too tired to cook" dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant.It might not be living every second of 365 days to the fullest, but I know that every month I will have at least one night when we do.