2010 HBL Item #22 --DONE!

Today was my watercolor class, held at Shenandoah National Park. 2010 Happiness Bucket List Item #22 is now completed.

I will never be an artist -- one look at the watercolors I did today will tell you that -- but I had so much fun. For three hours, all I thought about was blending, mixing, and painting. Learning something new is intense, and I can understand why people are advised to learn new hobbies throughout their lifetimes, especially as they get older. I can't remember the last time my brain got such a workout!

Painting is not like writing at all for me, even though both are creative arts. Writing comes naturally to me. Once I get started, the words just seem to flow from my brain to the paper, or more accurately in this day and age, the keyboard. Painting today was entirely different. I couldn't get the initial sketch the way I wanted it. I couldn't seem to blend the paint the right way; it was either too dark or too light. I could see the painting I wanted clearly in my mind. What came out of my fingertips was something else entirely.

I tried not to dwell on how frustrated I was by that. I tried to banish those thoughts when they first started to emerge. I was pretty successful, until the end when I was so-oo tired. (Creating is tiring; learning something new is exhausting.) My success was as much a part of the instructor's encouragement as it was my determination. Trilbie Knapp, president of the Charlottesville-Albemarle Art Association, never said one critical thing about my work, or any of the other students' artwork either. Even when I made a disparaging comment on the color of the petal or the shape of a leaf, she ignored it and pointed out something that I had done well.

I'm not racing out to Michael's to by watercolors and paper, but that's not to say I won't pick up the brush again. Who knows, Ms. Knapp may see me in another workshop one of these days.

51 weeks of wedded bliss

It's hard to belive, but Bate and I celebrated our 51-week anniversary last night. Well, celebrate is a bit of a stretch. I taught and he was at bridge, so our "celebration" was watching the American Idol semi-finals. (I didn't think it would happen, but yes, my husband of almost one year is now addicted to American Idol.)

I can't really believe that in just six short days, we will have been married for a whole year. May 26, 2009 seems like just yesterday and an eon ago, all at the same time. Where did those days go? Did we cherish each one, or let them slip by? I have to say, in my case at least, it is the latter.

And that bothers and saddens me. I know only too well how short days together can be. I lost my first husband to a sudden and unexpected heart attack, leaving me with the memory of all the things we didn't do...all our plans unfinished, all our dreams unlived. And I don't just mean the big pie in the sky dreams, like starting our own Christmas tree and herb farm. I mean the little things: the new restaurant we never got to try, taking the grandkids to Disney World, going to Alaska together. I not only lost my husband in those early morning hours of September 30, 2003, but I also lost my future as I had envisioned it.

That is why, nearly one year ago, as I was reciting the traditional wedding vows after the minister, I was silently vowing to live every moment with Bate as if we weren't going to have any more. I didn't do so well in this first year, which is why I have on my Happiness Bucket List "Plan a date with Bate every month." So far, I haven't been doing too bad -- I have planned a couple over the past few months, but most seem to happen on there own -- an unexpected breakfast out, a "I'm too tired to cook" dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant.It might not be living every second of 365 days to the fullest, but I know that every month I will have at least one night when we do.